Hello All

Thought I might ask you to try and figure out what is going on in my head and why I am feeling this way.

My husband and I divorced in 2004. It was quite traumatic at the time, he had a lot of "psychological problems", was depressed and suicidal and spiralled down and down.

I was at the end of my teather and left him as he was making me ill with all the stress. It wasn't an easy decision, but for my own survival it had to be done.

I was wife number 2 and he was repeating patterns from his first marraige and being very unreasonable. We had no children so it was easier for me to walk away.

Within 6 months he was living with a girl that he used to work with.......and telling me he was madly in love again. I was a bit miffed cause he was supposed to be "devasted" at losing me.....and then in what seemed a flash he was happily in love.

Meanwhile I was struggling to put my life back together. I supposed I had some resentment in my head...how come his life was hunky dorey and mine was still a mess when he had been the cause of the mess?

Anyway....I decided to let by gones be bygones...and in the spirit of Good Will (bought on by the fact that I have just met someone new and exciting!!) I decided to ring him up and wish him a happy new year ( and ask to borrow something ).

We had a pleasant chat....and he announced that he was getting married again!! 3rd time lucky he said?

Well that has really bought me down with a bump. Don't get me wrong. I am not jealous of "her" and I do NOT want him back...I just feel that it is so quick after our divorce that it makes he feelings for me meaningless if he can get married again so quickly.

Am I being silly? How come one minute I can think that me leaving him actually helped him move on and sort himself out (was probably one of these blueprint agreements before we were even born)....the next minute it makes me feel hurt, betrayed and foolish.

Think I might need a bucket load of reiki sending my way!! Please!!

Will stop rambling now

StarChild

Well i can help with the bucket load of reiki (pm me with your first name and a rough idea of where you are geographically and we can decide when is best for you to receive)

As for whats going on with you emotionally, heaven knows! In all honesty I think its quite 'normal' to go through lots of different perspectives on the close of a relationship, I mean you were married and obviously meant alot to each other at some point. If you were looking for advise I would say feel the emotions, vent them, cry , laugh, scream dont stiffle them or feel guilty about the way you feel.

Not very holisticy advise but there we go. What about carrying a piece of rose quartz to help soothe the emotions and help you deal with them?

Sal

I would say your ex thinks he needs someone else to make him happy, which has been proved wrong twice before and im sorry to say will probably be proved wrong again.

Optomisticly, maybe he has sorted himeself out and fallen madely in love.

My sister divorsed her husband a bit of a lazy lout and the next woman he married wouldnt let him drink and god help him if he didnt go to work, she was the making of him till he had an accident and is not bedridden.

Dont you notice how we seem to live a cycle things seem to come around and around again and again a test for us to pass and until we do we will repeat the cycle over and over in different formats but yet the same.

Personaly i think your doing it the right way, heal your emotions after the divorse, get to know yourself / love yourself before you can love someone else.

Good luck emotions are a

Amen.

You are, in my humble opinion, exactly right to feel as you do.
You are rightly acknowledging and "grieving" for your loss - he hasn't - and is deluding himself that he can waltz through life attaching himself to people to make himself feel better without ever addressing his problems on his own. Until he does, he will carry on this way, learning nothing, solving none of his very deep seated problems.

You carry on as you are..how you feel now will pass, and once it does you will be ready to give your love to someone who deserves you and values you more.

My ex of 9 years met someone else a month after him and I split so I know how you feel being replaced so quickly.
Thing was, he could not stand to be on his own.
Fools rush in eh

JuniperSky

(((HUGS))) to you StarChild,

I would not make any judgments on the way you feel. Just feel what you are feeling and allow yourself to grieve.

The end of a relationship *is* a grieving process and I think, that no matter how much you know this decision was right, one of the 'steps' is when your ex gets a new partner. It's another step along the way of the separation process.

I don't think his decision is an indication of how 'meaningless' you were to him, at all.

Big love
Rae x

Star Child

(((((HUGS))))) to you, don't sweat it or let it bring you down, you are in the right place at the right time for you.

When my ex and I went different ways back in 2001, she found her happiness within 6 months or so, me?, i'm still single at this time and for the most part enjoying it, as and when a partner comes into my life then it will be the right time, just as it will be the right time for you.

Although you made your decision to go a different way without your ex, perhaps there are still some emotional cords that need to be cut?

Love, Light & Bright BLessings, not forgetting the Reiki/Spiritual Healing as well

SPof52

Thanks for all your replies. I suppose I just needed to vent a little. I will try having Rose Quartz around me, and I did Reiki to chop those cords the night before last so I am starting to feel a little better

And as I said...I have met someone new, and am going out on a date tommorrow night

New Year, New Start I finally can let the EX go WOO HOO!!

SC
xxx

Well StarChild

How about turning it all on its head for a bit
Is the ex reliving his old pattern or are you
He may be going on to number three
But its you that should be your main concern
And not your past, that should be learn't from and moved on from
And what have you been doing?

Its a difficult time and not an easy one to move on from
Yes you feel hurt and disalusioned (spelling is not so good today)

But its time to put the bottle of wine away
Dust yourself off and move forward
You are never alone in your journey
You have friends that are with you every step of the way

hermie

Starchild

QUOTE

New Year, New Start  I finally can let the EX go  WOO HOO!!

Thats the way

Let the past be the past....

Take that first step ( date ) and see where it all leads you..

and as Hermie said

QUOTE

You are never alone in your journey
You have friends that are with you every step of the way

WooHoo! Be sure and tell us how it went........

Rae x

Hi Rae

My date went very well thankyou We had great time...lots of fun.

SC