I've long had an interest in transition, death and dying, in passages and exits. I'm involved in befriending - which is incredibly rewarding.

I thought I'd share with you a CD of music and spoken word I use when dealing with these issues, called 'Graceful Passages' produced by Gary Stillwater and Gary Makin for Companion Arts. Powerful stuff!

www.gracefulpassages.com

fruitbat

Thanks for the link...I will go visit soon.

QUOTE

I'm involved in befriending - which is incredibly rewarding.

Now I am not sure if it is the same but I had the honour and privildge to be asked to help a friends family members pass over. That was so special to me..and the reward was a sign I could not miss and one I could pass onto my friend

I have since helped others but the first one was soooooooooo special..it will always remain with me

Yes, GB, it does sound the same thing. As you say, an honour and a privilege. I do it through a network, a charity organisation.

My 'first time' was also special. I had a difficulty because the person was a humanist - and had absolutely no interest or belief in the spiritual. So it was a double challenge for me - how to help this person pass when I could not open my toolkit. As it was, there wasn't a huge problem because just ensuring he was calm and peaceful in a loving atmosphere was the main objective.

The worst time was the funeral - anyone ever been to a humanist burial on a dark, wet morning in October? The word that springs to mind is 'depressing'. There seemed so little hope in the eyes of his family. It was all so bleak, so final.

The last person I have been helping passed before Christmas, so I'm asked to 'take a break' for several months before starting again with a new client.

FB

fruitbat,

Similar then it seems

The main difference is that I am doing it from a distance....so I do not see the person (as such ) nor the funeral.

Still,a very moving experience all the same.

The first I helped now passes the occasional message through to me,and they have now been reunited by their partner from this side

Id never be able to do that, i just cant stop crying.

At Sues funeral i decided 'shes in a better place, shes home'

but when i got there there was so much pain because of the loss, how do you stop yourself crying?

Love Sue

Steve, thanks for those comments - there is a difference when dealing with the person face to face, as well as their family. I'm very pleased that you and others are interested in this subject - something of a taboo in our society but oh, so enriching.

Sue, I'm glad you wrote those words. Take a look at the website I mentioned, and listen to the samples of spoken word on the Graceful Passages CD. Yes, there is pain and suffering in the situation of someone with a terminal illness, just as there is in everyday life over the whole world. I've always had not just an academic interest in this, more of a need to experience it as a way of validating I'm alive.

I had the Graceful Passages CD as a freebie with some meditation CDs and I used it in earnest when my father died suddenly four years ago. I spent a week in his home town with my sister, arranging the funeral, getting a nursing home organised for Mum, transferring his business interests with solicitors, and then I was executor of his will. All in all a very busy time for me - not a great situation as I will explain. My sister invited me to stay with her family in their lovely house on the South Downs. Of course I spent a lot of time with my sister at that time, but decided to rent a little cottage in the bluebell woods nearby - where I stayed for the week before my family joined me for the funeral. During my evenings of being totally alone in this lovely setting, I meditated on the situation, and used the CD a lot. Believe me - I had a lot of grief, doubt, guilt... I lot of emotions but they all came out that week in the woods - big time. By the time of the funeral, I was at peace and accepting (although to this day I've never made contact with my Dad - my partner also has not, and she is rather psychic - but he was a humanist so I suspect it's taking him a while to accept things), anyway I was so much in a state of acceptance that I felt totally radiant and content. I elected to do a reading and eulogy at the funeral - it went absolutely brilliantly - I even had people laughing and smiling as well as crying.

Sue, you don't stop yourself crying. You accept whatever comes as being OK and let it go as fully as possible. I feel that's what I did that week amongst the early Spring flowers (that was my method - everyone is different). So with a client, whatever I feel, I release it and let it go. If a client cries, I cry. If he wants to go to the pub and be silly, I will be too. And then I let it go. Experience the moment, then it's over and gone. That way it's a fantastic experience for you personally, and not something that eats a little more into you.

I am rambling but my recommendation is to use a CD or something else to focus and channel all your feelings and energy and turn a tragedy into something totally beautiful and rewarding.

Hope this helps

FB

Sue,

Tears were shed by me,even though I was many many miles away.

A bit more of the story perhaps.

I had had a call from a friend,who was a relation to the person I helped over.They had been speaking to them at the hospital, and they had asked to get me to help as there was something else wrong that the doctors hadnt seen,and was stopping them going due to the pain they were in,and told them what was wrong.Of course I agreed and sat and sent to them,and was there beside them it felt.I got a call a few days after they had passed over from my friend telling me more of what had happened down in the hospital bed. They knew when I was sending and helping,and their relative smiled and went over happy and gave them a message to pass back to me...it went along these lines.

"Thank you.You are indeed an Earth Angel and powerful healer here to help many.I thank you again."

Those of you that know me well,will know that I find those words hard to belive,but have had them said many times now..so time to belive perhaps?

Not long ago,I was asked again to help the partner to pass over and join them on the otherside and have many messages passed back to me on how happy they are both now..reunited!

I will have to sortta agree with fruitbat here

QUOTE

And then I let it go. Experience the moment, then it's over and gone. That way it's a fantastic experience for you personally, and not something that eats a little more into you

Slightly different for me as I said before,I am many miles away,but the same feelings and experiences I would imagine.

Fruitbat,

QUOTE

I'm very pleased that you and others are interested in this subject - something of a taboo in our society but oh, so enriching

It is only taboo as we in the modern world have made it so.

I am training in the Shamanic way at the moment and I am going onto train in the way off "Life and Death" helping others pass over.This I belive will be really rewarding.


I have posted above about my first one I helped in this life.I have helped others this side but also a past life one that was stuck in a shop,and gave the shop owner problems.Since I helped them pass,all has become quiet in the shop.

Steve

I'm always looking to discover more about this subject and the Shamanic way of Life and Death will I'm sure open up more doors - I'd be interested in your thoughts on this.

FB

FB

QUOTE

I'm always looking to discover more about this subject and the Shamanic way of Life and Death will I'm sure open up more doors

What I have read and been told--it certainly will open more doors.And I am more than excited about it--but temper that with patience...it will be there when I am ready and not before.

I will get links and articles to you if you would like to see more?

This subject reminds me of when I sat with an elderly patient who had been with us a long time & we all loved, & as I arrived on shift he was still hanging on to life in discomfort.
I went to him, held his hand & stroked his forehead & told him it was ok to leave now(he had suffered for days) to which he seemed to relax & quietly passed on.

It was emotional, but also so peaceful & gentle after what he had been through. I have never forgotten him.


Thank you FB for bringing this subject up.


Love

Alison xxx